I want to start with the following disclaimer:
I am not a perfect daughter. I have not honored my parents every day of my life. However, I have studied what scripture says regarding this topic and I do my best to apply these truths to my day to day life.
For Mother’s Day of this year, I published a piece entitled, “Thank you, Mama, for being a parent, not a friend.” I discussed the importance of God-honoring motherhood. I was blown away by the massive response this article received. I still run into complete strangers that recognize me because of how far and fast this message traveled.
One of the questions I received following the article was, “As daughters, what can WE do to be God-honoring in our relationship with our moms?” I wanted to take time to answer this as best as I can.
I realize that not everyone has a wonderful relationship with their mother. However, I do know that each and every individual on this earth was hand placed by God into the family they are in. With Jesus, we have the ability to extend grace in the difficult relationships in our lives. This may not be easy and will look different in different situations.
Furthermore, if your mother is completely out of the picture for whatever reason but you do have a stepmother, grandmother, aunt, etc. serving as a parental figure, the following biblical truths apply to that relationship as well.
Have a teachable spirit.
You do not always have to agree with her methods but you must always show respect.
My son, keep your father’s commandment ,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Serve her to the best of your ability.
This may mean making sacrifices in your own life to ensure your mother is taken care of.
1 Timothy 5:4
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
Obey her unless she asks you to go against the Word of God.
God commands our obedience to the authority he has placed in our lives.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Seek her counsel.
Your mother has probably been in your position at some point in her life. Appreciate her concern and abundance of knowledge.
Proverbs 23: 22
Listen to your father who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
Be genuinely thankful for her example.
As children, we are given the wonderful role of encouraging our mothers as they embark on one of life’s hardest missions: motherhood.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
Honor her with YOUR LIFE.
The least we can do to honor our mothers is to represent Christ (and her) well. Examine your life. Are you living intentionally? Are you honoring the wisdom your mother has so graciously imparted to you?
The proverbs of Solomon.
A wise son makes a glad father,
but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
Let your father and mother be glad;
let her who bore you rejoice.
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.